Is 40 the new 20?

Is 40 the new 20?
They’re hip, they’re hot and they plan never to grow up! Their clothes, music and attitude epitomise the ‘20-till-I-die’ lifestyle. Nona Walia figures out how today’s 40-somethings have redefined growing up
HEY dude, you’re 40-going-on-20. There’s a new breed of supercool rockstars or yupsters (yuppie hipsters) who are redefining adulthood and looking fabulous at 40. This phenomenon looks like it’s here to stay, as 40-year-olds look, talk, act and dress like 20-year-olds, heralding the arrival of a generation that never wants to grow up. This also hints at the end of the generation gap. It’s about Elizabeth Hurley looking divalicious at 40, being the perfect eye-candy in a cleavage-hugging halter-top. Or about Shah Rukh Khan being plugged into his iPod, wearing his clean-chested ‘cool dude’ look. Why, even Aamir Khan wears his ‘40-going-on-20’ attitude on his sleeve! When the New York Metro recently reported that there’s a brave new generation radically rethinking what it means to be grown-up, we decided to figure out if the ‘rebellion’ is real for India too. And yes, after talking to a slew of 40-somethings, we discovered that the slogan is simple: Nobody wants to grow up! Pop diva Alisha Chinai laughs, “Whoever told you I was 40? I’ll be 20 till I die. The fact is, I’m just too young to be my age. I’m a child at heart and a defiant daredevil. I’m young, my music is younger and I sing for a young audience. I chew gum, wear short and sexy outfits... I’m vivacious and wild. Forty is not me, either in mind, body or soul. I shop for tattered jeans, Esprit and Gucci tops… I shop like a teenager. I’m on top of life.” There’s an army of fabulous 40-somethings who are telling the world: ‘We’re the catchall symbol for cool’. In Hollywood, Brad Pitt, Tom Cruise, Sharon Stone, Sarah Jessica Parker and Linda Evangelista are the glamorous superstars, swinging at 40. In fact, People magazine’s senior editor, Galina Espinoza, writes, “I think 40 is not just the new 30, it’s the new 20. We’ve got this crop of stars that actually look better today than they did when they were in their prime. They’re saying: “Hey, at 40 you can not only be a star, but a sex symbol!” The mindset reflects affluence and freedom. Londonbased director Meera Syal agrees, “At 44, I feel younger than I ever did before. I’ve just had a baby boy. And I’ve never looked better. I’m doing new projects. I don’t think this is the end, it’s just the beginning…” Is it popular culture that’s pushing the 40-somethings to get a younger makeover? Subconsciously influenced by the blitz of young and goodlooking faces and bods from the media, many of today’s over-40s are tapping the fountain of youth. Many are even adopting a lifestyle they never enjoyed when they were 20. The exposure, the expectations and the sheer exuberance that living such a lifestyle affords, keep them youthful. So does this mean Salman Khan will never grow up? “Yes, and he’ll dress down, look yuppier and keep appearing shirtless,” says Delhi-based sociologist, Patricia Uberoi. “The 40-going-on-20 is like a new status symbol. We are witnessing a change in generational beliefs and culture. The mantra is ‘shape up or ship out’. Popular culture pays a lot of attention to attractiveness, youth and sexual experimentation. Women are looking much younger at 40 today,” she says. Uberoi adds, “That’s because they want to feel attractive even after they’ve had children. There’s a new dynamic which is defying the hand-me-down model of adulthood.” There’s a cultural churn happening. Consider this an obituary to the paunch. Model Marc Robinson says: “Most 40-year-olds will die of embarrassment if they have a paunch. It’s so uncool. At the recently-concluded fashion week, younger models kept asking me: ‘What’s the deal, dude?’ I play football with 18-year-olds. I have to run like them. They keep me young. I model with 20-year-olds and as I’m with younger people, I have to look like them. We have the same passions. I have to look sexy at 40. My mantra is ‘Keep your life simple, don’t try to be manipulative’. The mind is a powerful weapon. I shop for sexy, fitted shirts. I don’t think, ‘Hey, I’m 40, I shouldn’t buy that’. I hang out at lounges, listen to whatever music my young friends are listening to.” Think of it this way: In her 40s, Madonna’s constantly reinventing herself, Meg Ryan still has ‘that’ girlish thing about her, and Sanjay Dutt is stuck in his youth, perhaps forever. Maybe, he’s listening to the same music as his daughter. There’s no intergenerational gap. Actor Archana Puran Singh agrees: “My kids and I listen to the same music and watch the same movies. Interestingly, in my 20s and 30s, I stopped listening to music. I’m 40-goingon-20 and I’m chasing a new dream. This isn’t a period of compromise but promise. After turning 40, I’ve started wearing sleeveless tops with low necklines and am comfortable baring my midriff. Even my husband Parmeet is shocked!” It’s ironic how the 40-somethings have converged with the 20-somethings to be seen as ‘cool and easy’. Their walk of freedom has just begun. There’s Gautam Singhania, MD, Raymond Industries,who gets his adrenalin rush by racing fast cars, sailing his expensive yacht and hosting the most popular parties. And actor Milind Soman, who runs several kilometres a day, concludes: “Everyone wants to look hip and younger. Our social circle is widening, which keeps us on our toes. I keep doing adventurous stuff. Perhaps it’s because we want to make a good impression and be seen as exciting people.” TIMES NEWS NETWORK


FABULOUS AT 40: Feroze Gujral, Gautam Singhania and Alisha Chinai epitomise the ‘live it up’ culture
TOI/TIMES LIFE/16TH APRIL 2006/PG1&2

Midlife passage emotionally painful but necessary

Midlife passage emotionally painful but necessary
First in a two-part series
By SHERYL UBELACKER -- Canadian Press




Tim O'Neill knew he had reached some defining moment in life when he was suddenly overwhelmed by a storm of swirling emotions that shook him to the core of his being. It felt like sadness. It felt like loss. It felt like panic. It felt as if some hitherto silent internal clock had suddenly kick-started to life, tick-tocking out the warning: time. . . is. . . running. . . out. "When it hit me, I was standing somewhere and I leaned against a wall in a corridor and I just started crying," says O'Neill, still surprised at the memory. "And I thought, "What's going on?" What was going on was the beginning of what is often termed the midlife transition, a time when many in their mid-40s or 50s are struck by a sense of their own mortality and the knowledge there are only so many years left to realize their dreams. It may be triggered by a landmark birthday -- like turning 50 -- the death of a parent or peer, a grownup child leaving home, or being passed over for promotion by a younger colleague. Sometimes it's the relentless signs of diminished youth that set off midlife anxiety: printed words that seem to have shrunk, hair that's fading to grey or relentlessly receding, once-fine laugh lines deepened into crevices, or an hourglass figure that's stubbornly reconfigured itself into a pear. For O'Neill, who asked that his real name not be used, it struck while he was at a career placement centre after being downsized by the Montreal telecommunications company where he had worked for 20 years. "You think you are not worth anything. You look back at all the people who are still there, who are younger than you, and think: 'Where did I go wrong?' "I started going through this whole grieving process and angst and (asking) 'Who am I?' and 'What should I do?' "It was pretty scary."

Such emotional turbulence is common at the half-century watershed, psychologists say, but it is even more pronounced in the generation now reaching "middlescence," the baby boomers instilled with the need for high achievement. "Growing up in the 1960s and 1970s led us to believe that a long, healthy, affluent and youthful life was our birthright," say the authors of The Healthy Boomer: A No-Nonsense Midlife Guide for Women and Men. "Midlife is a shock. Suddenly, the generation whose motto was 'Never trust anyone over 30' is brooding about unfulfilled dreams (and) the risk of heart attacks." Romin Tafarodi, a social psychologist at the University of Toronto, says people are usually content as long as they perceive they're on "a certain trajectory." "It's when we realize that the trajectory has taken on a slope that's not satisfactory -- plateaued, if you will -- or we realize that we'll never get to where we want to be before we end our lives, that things get a little dicey." People may feel demoralized, worthless and withdraw into themselves, he says. Other experts say this retreat into self is often a necessary part of the midlife journey. It's a time to "critically re-examine familiar relationships, values and life choices," says The Healthy Boomer. O'Neill, 54, says losing his job after 20 years jolted him into looking back at his life. "It was then that the soul-searching started," says O'Neill, a soft-spoken, self-described people-person. He realized he'd settled for a comfortable career in the telecom industry, but had paid for it ever since by never feeling really happy. "It makes you realize you've missed the boat somewhere. You look back and see opportunities you didn't take, perhaps because you were afraid to take them." There was his dream at 20 of becoming an actor or screenwriter in Hollywood. "How stupid not to have done it," he says, shaking his head. "I never felt I could do anything other than what I fell into." But as he goes through this phase of life, O'Neill has glimpsed what he calls his true calling. He wants to become a career counsellor and life coach to help others "uncover their real needs." "It's very difficult because you wake up in the middle of the night questioning yourself. Am I doing the right thing. Shouldn't I be looking for a high-paying job and paying the rent and not having my wife worrying about money and not indulging my own personal needs and aspirations? "You have doubts: Can I really make a career out of this thing I love to do? I've not seen any doors open yet. I'm at this stasis, I'm stuck. So now I have to do something and see if it works." And O'Neill is aware of the sound of Death's footsteps behind him -- still off in the distance, but drawing inevitably closer. "That sense of mortality is with me every day. Every day, every week seems to move faster, and yet I look at what I've achieved and I think I haven't really done anything to fulfil my true purpose. "You think now's the time to do what you want to do -- because there isn't that much time." This article first appeared February 6, 2001.

(http://www.canoe.ca/LifewiseFamilyRetired01/0213_midlife_cp.html)

New Age for All Ages

New Age for All Ages

"It is fitting for the last year of the millenium to be the International Year of Older Persons, with the theme 'towards a society for all ages' - a society that does not caricature older persons as pensioners, but sees them as both agents and beneficiaries of development"- UN Secretary-General Kofi Annan, 1 October 1998

The silent revolution
The technological revolution has captured the public imagination, and its impact on all walks of life has been discussed and felt for many years.

By contrast, the far-reaching effects of the demographic revolution have been relatively ignored. It has been called "the silent revolution". Yet its effects are being felt by every individual, family, neighbourhood and nation throughout the world.

Individuals are living longer than ever before. Twenty years have been added to the average life-expectancy worldwide in the past 50 years (1950-2000), an effect of improved health, hygiene and nutrition.

Populations are ageing too, an effect of declining fertility and increasing longevity. By 2030, several industrialized countries will have one third of their population over age 60. By 2150, the world as a whole will have a third of its population over age 60.

We need "to put a human face on ageing", noted Ambassador Julia T. de Alvarez, at the launching of the International Year of Older Persons on 1 October 1998 at United Nations Headquarters in New York. We need "ageless thinking" - and this calls for a new mental framework or window through which we see things. For centuries people saw the world as flat, when everything was explained in terms of a flat world. When the world was proven to be round, new kinds of thinking, structures, terms, and images developed. Similarly, seeing ageing as a lifelong and society-wide phenomenon - not only a phenomenon pertaining to older persons - calls for a shift in thinking. That shift is the underlying message of the theme of the International Year: "a society for all ages".

Investing in the individual
Many of today's very old persons find themselves unprepared. They are "surprised survivors", noted Dr. Gunhild Hagestad, keynote speaker at the launch of the Year. They are "demographic and social pioneers", exploring a new age for old age.

No longer can grandparenting be equated with old age, since grandparents now range in age from 35 to 105, and their grandchildren from newborns to retirees. No longer can an increasing population of older persons be narrowly defined as, for example, patients or pensioners.
Late-life capabilities have their genesis in early life. More of today's youth can expect to live longer than their forebears, but in very different circumstances. Anticipating a long life, youth may be encouraged to think of life ahead as a marathon, requiring a particular kind of preparation and pacing in the accumulation of "capital" or resources.

Human capital is needed, including relational and work skills and healthy lifestyles. Social capital must be nurtured, in terms of social solidarity and networks. Economic capital also needs to be acquired throughout the lifecourse, including savings and pensions.

For these types of capital or resources to be accumulated throughout life, adult years need flexibility of work, home and social life. This is true for men and women alike. Currently, work is structured as an "all or nothing" proposition leaving the unemployed with material poverty, and the over-employed with "time poverty".

Mid-life becomes a pivotal phase in a long life, being a transitional time between young adulthood, usually devoted to family formation and career establishment, and late adulthood when family forms frequently change and second careers are sought, including ones that could be sustained into the highest ages. Echoing the well-recognized transitional nature of adolescence as a critical time for investing in building up life and work skills, some writers have opted to use the term "middlescence" for mid-life so as to gain similar investments in it in preparation for late life.
As individual capabilities are expanded over the entire lifecourse, so is a society's capability expanded and the common good augmented.

Fostering enabling environments
It is helpful to think of the individual and society as two entities living in a symbiotic relationship. And just as individual lives are changing, so too is group life, whether this be the family, neighbourhood, extended community or nation. Ageing and migration are factors changing group demographic structures. And the evolution of values as, for example, regarding the advancement of women, is having a profound impact on the various roles and relationships within social groups.
Families have been called the "the first resource and last resort" for its members, providing a launching pad at the start of life and a landing pad at its end. As grandparents begin to outnumber grandchildren, creating what has been called "the inverse family pyramid", it is important to maintain the family's social network, particularly as family members are increasingly dispersed in the home country and abroad.

(http://www.un.org/esa/socdev/ageing/ageing/ageless.htm)

Getting Psyched To Retire

Getting Psyched To Retire

A financial plan isn't enough. You'll need to be ready emotionally as well.

If you thought nothing would ever compare with the turmoil of adolescence, you may be in for a big surprise. A similar period of self-searching and emotional change hits people on the cusp of retirement. Ken Dychtwald, a psychologist, gerontologist, and author of Age Power: How the 21st Century will be Ruled by the New Old, calls it "middlescence."

This time in one's life, from the early 50s and beyond leading up to retirement, can be fraught with uncertainty, anxiety, and even depression if you're not prepared for it. "Psychological security in retirement is just as important as financial security," says Sara Yogev, a Chicago psychologist and author of For Better or For Worse...But Not For Lunch: Making Marriage Work in Retirement. "Still, so many people fail to prepare and plan" for the psychological component.Think about what work does for you, and you begin to understand why retiring can leave you so unsettled. Work structures your time, can be a source of intellectual stimulation, provides social contacts, gives you an identity, and builds your self-esteem.

In our society, you are what you do. Stop doing it, and you can lose your sense of yourself. For some people, a steady diet of leisure activities can fill the void. But for many others, the initial euphoria of having all that free time can quickly turn into boredom or despair.

That's what happened to Bernard Salevitz. Five years ago, at 65, he left a thriving urology practice in New York and moved with his wife, Carolyn, to Scottsdale, Ariz., where they had built a second home and one of their two children lived. After three months, "I mentally and physically collapsed," Salevitz says. While he thought he'd just play golf and travel, "there was no challenge or stimulation in my life, and that was a big mistake." What saved him was returning to work at the Mayo Clinic in Scottsdale, where he teaches residents and sees patients three days a week. "It brought me back to civilization," he says.Salevitz was lucky in that, as a physician, he had highly marketable skills and could land a job quickly. But you really don't want to wait until a crisis hits to figure out what you want to do.

You need to start thinking and preparing for this next phase of your life well in advance of your actual retirement.The focus should be on "where can I make the biggest contribution and have the most fun," says Phyllis Moen, a sociologist at the University of Minnesota in Minneapolis who studies retirement issues. Will it be working with the Peace Corps, teaching adult education courses, helping out a nonprofit organization, or serving on advisory boards for fledgling companies? Jot your ideas down in a notebook.To better prepare for the transition, speak with friends and colleagues who might offer leads or contacts. Talk to people who are already retired. They have firsthand experience with the decisions you're facing and can tell you what they did and how it's working out. Ask what kinds of things surprised them and if they would have done anything differently five years before they retired.

FIVE STAGESA frank discussion with your spouse is crucial in making the change go more smoothly. You need to decide where you're going to live, how much leisure time to build into your schedule, and -- if you both want to travel -- whether you'll be sleeping in a Winnebago (WGO ) or the Ritz-Carlton (MAR ). "Retirement is not a one-time event or an extended vacation," Yogev says. "It's a change of life." In fact, Yogev identifies five stages of retirement: preparation, celebration, honeymoon, reality, and reorientation.Seeking the support of a career counselor or therapist who specializes in work transitions might also help. You can ask your human resources office for referrals. This may be especially important if you're a hard-charging professional who has had time for little else other than building a career. You may not have other interests or hobbies to sustain you outside of work.You can also turn to the dozens of books and Web sites that specialize in retirement.

One site, retire2enjoy.com, has an entire section on the psychology of retirement, complete with four pages of books on the subject. The AARP site, aarp.org, has a good section on careers and community service.Most people are likely to want to continue working, either in a volunteer position or for pay. If you're interested in staying connected to your company, ask about phased retirement. This is where older employees stay on to assist less experienced workers, sometimes on a part-time or project-by-project basis.Steve Vernon, a vice-president with benefits consulting firm Watson Wyatt Worldwide (WW ), has clients who offer their employees phased retirement, and now Vernon is planning to work out such an arrangement for himself. In about four years -- when he's 55 and his youngest child graduates from college -- Vernon intends to cut back at Watson Wyatt to three days a week. He would like to use the time he has freed up to get involved with an organization that promotes environmental causes and to speak on a topic that he's currently writing a book about -- finding meaningful work in retirement. "I still want to work, but I also want to contribute to society," he says.Although phased retirement is growing in popularity, you may want to try your hand at something new. Think about skills you learned that are transferable to other jobs.

As general counsel of BMW of North America, Dennis Helfman has become an expert in automotive regulation and German law. He has also enjoyed lecturing on these topics at business meetings. Now Helfman, 57, whose company encourages him to retire at age 60, is making plans to teach graduate business and law students. His wife, Alyce, a high school librarian, hopes to land part-time work in a public library.Although they live in New Jersey, Helfman has been contacting universities in Michigan, where he has a second home, and Florida, where he is likely to spend the winters. He is offering to give guest lectures. "It gives the schools an opportunity to try me out, and I can learn what I need to do to become an adjunct professor," he says.Despite all his plans, Helfman doesn't just want to work. He's an avid cook and enjoys entertaining. Like Helfman, consider how else you will fill your time as you think about scaling back your working hours. Classes? Hobbies? Make sure you have a well-thought-out daily and weekly schedule to structure your days.All this planning may seem daunting if you were expecting to coast into retirement. Unless you give serious thought now to how you'll fill your days, you could be facing an emotional crisis that may feel a lot worse than adolescent angst.By Toddi Gutner

(http://www.businessweek.com/magazine/content/04_30/b3893423.htm)

The Golden Years Try G--Go Years(extended)

The Golden Years? Try Go-Go Years (extended)

A talk with retirement guru Ken Dychtwald

People used to work for 40 years, then abruptly head out to pasture. Today retirement is a more active pursuit, combining work, self-improvement, and fun, says Ken Dychtwald, cofounder of Age Wave, a San Francisco research firm that focuses on the graying workforce. Dychtwald, 54, is a psychologist and gerontologist and author of 10 books on aging-related.

BusinessWeek Associate Editor Toddi Gutner caught up with him by phone to explore his views on the new definition of retirement. Edited excerpts from their conversation follow. (Note: This is an extended, online-only version of the interview in the July 26, 2004 issue of BusinessWeek.)

Q: How has retirement evolved?

A: At the beginning of the 20th century, there was essentially no retirement. People worked until they died, and they thought it was a good thing. In the 1930s, the Depression saw 25% of the labor force out of work. President Roosevelt decided to make room for the younger generation and created the retirement age of 65. Retirement over the next several decades meant a short pause before death. But life expectancy increased, the quality of life for retirees improved, and financial well-being rose. In the 1980s and '90s, retirement became an extended period of leisure that was promoted as something infinitely desirable, and something we were all entitled to.

Q: Where are we now?

A: Today's retirees are social guinea pigs. We're shifting away from the model of learning for 20 years, working like a mad dog for 40, and goofing around for 20. What's evolving is some new blend between learning, working, and leisure. Retirees are saying: "Just because I'm older doesn't mean I don't have dreams." Take John Glenn Jr., who at 77 went back into space. Or Jack McKeon, the 72-year-old coach who was called out of retirement and catapulted the Florida Marlins to a World Series victory.

Q: What is "middlescence," as you put it in your book Age Power?

A: It's the period between your 50s and 70s when you have to find a new identity. While disorienting and confusing, there's tremendous opportunity. Rather than winding down, retirees are reinventing themselves. Rather than wandering off to society's sidelines, they're having fun and embarking on new careers. It's not the end of life but really just the third quarter.

Q: How can business develop a mutually beneficial relationship with the growing ranks of middlescents?

A: There are a lot of similarities between the women's movement and the age of middlesence. In both situations, companies need to design jobs that make it more attractive to stay than to leave. A lot of talent and experience gets shoved out the door. There are also many obstacles in pension and benefits regulation that make it difficult to continue to employ those in middlesence who may prefer more flexible or part-time arrangements. Changes in these policies will be good for business, people, and the economy.

Q: What are the obstacles in pension and benefits regulation that middlescents face?

A: There are several. Pension benefits are keyed to a person's earnings in their final years. Say you're making $80,000 in your last year of work. Your pension would be tied to that salary. If you decided to work part-time and your earnings drop to $50,000, that could damage your pension payout for the rest of your life. What some people do is finish their career out at one firm and get their full pension, then take their life talent, experience, and contacts and begin working at a competitor. ERISA, the Employee Retirement Income Security Act, also creates obstacles. It imposes rules of uniformity in the treatment of employees and their pension benefits. These rules make it hard to make [special] arrangements for those workers that employers want to retain. Finally, we have provisions in place that provide benefits for early retirement. In fact, 80% of the workforce retires before their 65th birthday. So while that isn't an obstacle, offering early retirement is a misguided incentive. That becomes a temptation for many people to cut out early and start receiving wonderful benefits before they're able to afford to or are psychologically ready to retire.

Q: How far along is society in appreciating the talent and contributions of older men and women?

A: I'll divide society into three sections: political; marketing, communication, and advertising; and the workforce. I'll measure them on a scale of 1 to 10, with 10 being the highest appreciation. Politically, I think we're at a 10. We've become a gerontocracy: The old is one group all the politicians are catering to. In the area of marketing, communication, and advertising, I think we're at a 5. The communication industry is still overwhelming oriented toward youth. Ten years ago, it would have been a zero, so we've seen some progress. Finally, the workforce is at a 1. Some 85% of the elderly, as defined by those 65 or older, don't work. Companies are trying to dump older people as quickly as they can. When you look at the advertising for employees -- which routinely seeks high-energy individuals -- it's clear they're looking for young people. Companies must retain or seek to hire the best and brightest near to retirement, or they'll struggle with a talent shortage in years to come.

(http://www.businessweek.com/magazine/content/04_30/b3893428.htm)

Getting Younger All the Time

Age 65: Getting Younger All the Time




A new way of thinking about age: In her best-selling book, New Passages, Gail Sheehy argues that the "midlife passage" generally thought to take place at age 40 now occurs a decade later. The period between ages 45 and 65 is no longer middle and old age, according to Sheehy, but a "second adulthood."

Psychologist Ken Dychtwald, chief executive officer of Age Wave Inc., a California-based consulting firm, also sees new lines being drawn. Using his model, ages 25 to 40 represent young adulthood, while ages 40 to 60 comprise a new stage known as "middlescence." Next comes late adulthood (60 to 80), followed by old age (80 to 100), and very old age (100+).

(http://www.axaonline.com/rs/3p/sp/3010.html)

"Sometimes the best begins in the middle."

Age frame for middlescence

"I'm too old to be young and too young to be old," lamented Kathy Bates in "Fried Green Tomatoes."

Enough youth to inspire and energize our dreams and enough age to give us the practical wisdom to live and enjoy these dreams- the best of both worlds-middle youth.

The above two lines probably gives you mind frame for middlescence. But what is the exact ageframe to define middlescence?

Nobody is sure; different writers have put it differently.

• 45-60 (Dorothea McArthur, Ph.D., A.B.P.P)
• 30-50 for Middlescence-I and 50-70 for Middlescence-II ( Joanne S. Stevenson,Ph.D)
• 35- 55 (Ken Dychtwald,Ph.D)
• 40+ (Gail Sheehy)
• Macmillan English Dictionary defines the frame as between their thirties and mid-forties and also as between thirty and forty-five
• between the ages of 40 and 60 (Britanica Encyclopaedia)

The period differs person to person but,it appears, is generally taken as 40-60 by medical profession.

"Sometimes the best begins in the middle."

MIDDLESCENCE AND SECOND ADULTHOOD

February 2001

MIDDLESCENCE AND SECOND ADULTHOOD

By Dorothea McArthur, Ph.D., A.B.P.P.

Everyone is familiar with the stage of development called adolescence. We know that it is a time of physical change, self absorption, turmoil and conflict as teenagers navigate their way out of the safety and security of home into the larger world where they will find a profession and create their second family.

After adolescence, comes the survival years. During these years we concentrate on finding a lasting relationship and having children, choosing a profession, earning a living, buying homes, and the material things we need to raise a family. It is a time to mate, perform, to please others, to prove ourselves so that we can be protected and promoted by bosses, teachers, mentors, and mates.

We are less familiar with a second adolescence, called Middlescence that occurs sometime between the ages of 45-60. This period of time can also be a time of physical change, conflict, impulsivity and turmoil. It is the time when we move out of the survival years. The 50's crisis is part of this transition. Gail Sheehy describes some new later stages of development in her book entitled, New Passages (Ballantine Books 1995).

Our needs in Second Adulthood (45-85) are different. This is a time to let of go earning a big income and buying lots of material things. It is a time to give away what now seems to be clutter in exchange for a simpler life style. It is a time to feed the soul, to concentrate on what is happening inside of ourselves. It is a time to look back at all the pieces of our lives and see where we are meant to go next so that we can leave this planet having "made a substantial difference." for the environment or some social cause. Age 45-65 is the age of mastery, while 65-85 is the age of integrity.

Middlescence is a critical time of development. Like our teenagers, we can either do a really good job with a difficult transition and move on creatively into Second Adulthood or we can mess it up by sliding into this stage of development unknowingly. If we don't go through Middlescence we can only watch ourselves slip physically and mentally as we become merely reruns of ourselves in the survival years. Even if have loved the work we did in the survival years, Middlescence is the time to ferret out something new and different.

Saging is using experience and collective wisdom to make a difference, while aging is merely getting older. Saging can be a glorious time of life, but is does not come without effort and struggle. It is a time of growing rather than getting older and weaker. Since medical science is allowing us to live longer, it is likely that we will be working productively well into our late seventies. It becomes a time to take action to improve the world rather than to react to what the world throws our way. Men, especially, transition from devoting most of their energy to competing and sexual conquest to finding emotional intimacy, trust and companionship in the community of others. They have acquired the skills, wisdom and experience to take action upon a social or environmental problem. Women have moved out of their child bearing years and have new assertive energy. For those in the Sandwiched Generation (raising children and caring for the elderly parents at the same time) it becomes a time to reconnect with our children as emerging adults and to help our parents out of life with dignity and love and caring.

Aging, in marked contrast, can be a boring, depressing, and a lonely downward slide. It is a time for brain cells to shrink and grow dormant from lack of stimulation. It is a time when the absence of passion and emotion depresses the immune system leaving us more vulnerable to disease. Blocked energy can cause a feeling of chronic exhaustion. It is a time to do less and less each day.

The baby boomer generation is currently in Middlescence and Second Adulthood. Once they were babies, but now they can take on the important job of lending a collective wisdom, integrity and morality to make this world a better place, especially for the disadvantaged, children, elderly, and the environment. It is time for Middlescence to become a household word.

I am currently coaching individuals, couples, and forming small groups for the purpose of making a creative safe passage from the Survival years into Second Adulthood. I am available to help with overcoming problems and creating a safe, financially secure, physically and psychologically healthy life. If you are within the age group of 45-85 and answer "yes" to any of the questions below, please consider using my services to plan ahead, sharing your collective wisdom with me and other Second Adults so that we can all get on with the work of making a difference.

Are you over the age of 45?

Do you feel little job security?

Are you bored with your job and wish that you could do something else?

Are you redefining yourself?

Are you looking for a worthy cause to donate income?

Are you searching for a way to feel a sense of community?

Are you interested in working with children?

Did you know that you will likely live to between the ages of 80-90?

Do you need help in achieving a retirement income?

Are you longing for an outdoor project that nourishes our environment?

Are you looking for companionship and intimacy in a new mate?

Dr. McArthur is a psychotherapist in practice in Los Angeles. She is the president of the Independent Psychotherapy Network.

(http://www.therapyinla.com/articles/article0201.html)




Dorothea McArthur, Ph.D., A.B.P.P.2362 Cove Ave.Los Angeles, CA 90039-3123(323) 663-2340email: dmca@ucla.eduPsychology License: #PSY5301
Dr. McArthur is the President of the Independent Psychotherapy Network

"Sometimes the best begins in the middle."

Managing Middlescence

Managing Middlescence

By Robert Morison, Tamara Erickson, Ken Dychtwald
March 2006 Issue
Reprint # R0603E
Harvard Business School Publishing.


Abstract: They make up more than half your workforce. They work longer hours than anyone else in your company. From their ranks come most of your top managers. They're your mid-career employees, the solid citizens between the ages of 35 and 55 whom you bank on for their loyalty and commitment. And they're not happy. In fact, they're burned out, bored, and bottlenecked, new research reveals. Only 33% of the 7,700 workers the authors surveyed feel energized by their work; 36% say they're in dead-end jobs. One in three is not satisfied with his or her job. One in five is looking for another. Welcome to middlescence. Like adolescence, it can be a time of frustration, confusion, and alienation. But it can also be a time of self-discovery, new direction, and fresh beginnings. Today, millions of mid-career men and women are wrestling with middlescence--looking for ways to balance work, family, and leisure while hoping to find new meaning in their jobs. The question is: Will they find it in your organization or elsewhere? Companies are ill-prepared to manage middlescence because it is so pervasive, largely invisible, and culturally uncharted. That neglect is bad for business: Many companies risk losing some of their best people or--even worse--ending up with an army of disaffected people who stay. The best way to engage middlescents is to tap into their hunger for renewal and help them launch into more meaningful roles. Perhaps managers can't grant a promotion to everyone who merits one in today's flat organizations, but you may be able to offer new training, fresh assignments, mentoring opportunities, even sabbaticals or entirely new career paths within your own company. Millions of mid-career men and women would like nothing better than to convert their restlessness into fresh energy. They just need the occasion--and perhaps a little assistance--to unleash and channel all that potential.

(http://harvardbusinessonline.hbsp.harvard.edu/hbrsa/en/hbrsaLogin.jhtml?ID=R0603E&path=&pubDate=null&referral=null&_requestid=101904)

Middlescence

Middlescence

"Sometimes the best begins in the middle."

"I'm too old to be young and too young to be old," lamented Kathy Bates in "Fried Green Tomatoes."

Enough youth to inspire and energize our dreams and enough age to give us the practical wisdom to live and enjoy these dreams- the best of both worlds-middle youth.

Welcome to Middlescence!

Middlescence is a combination of middle and adolescence.

middlescence noun. The turbulent, rebellious middle age of the baby boom generation.

"Most baby boomers don't feel fully 'grown up' until they are into their 40s. When our parents turned 50, we thought they were old! But today, women and men I've interviewed routinely feel they are five to 10 years younger than the age on their birth certificates. Fifty is what 40 used to be; 60 is what 50 used to be. Middle age has already been pushed far into the 50s — in fact, if you listen to boomers, there is no more middle age. So what's next?
Welcome to Middlescence. It's adolescence the second time around." —Gail Sheehy, "New passages," U.S. News & World Report, June 9, 1995

(http://www.wordspy.com/words/middlescence.asp)

However, this is a period in ones life which represents the search for a new identity. It is a strange urge to do something different in your career or life, which could provide the one thing we miss: satisfaction.

In middle age, the relative potencies of past, present, and future are altered as the individual increasingly directs effort to the process of reminiscence and recollection of the past, rather than anticipation of the future. If approached constructively, middle age can prepare an individual for a satisfying and productive old age.(Britanica encyclopaedia)

Here, I would like to collate the available information / literarure on Middlescence and also discuss issueses related to middlescence.

-Prashant Koli